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The fundamental factor behind all successful relationships is the awareness and understanding of human nature and the use of that understanding to exercise patience and charity in our response to it.
Conversely, the fundamental factor that is at the root of all failed relationships is a lack of understanding, patience and charity toward the unpleasant, unpalatable, disgusting, despicable, appalling, dreadful, shameful and indigestible human nature of others.
We need to view human nature as a form of programming...human programming (if you will). Nature (for its own reasons and in accordance with its overall design) has programmed into the minds and bodies of each and every one of us characteristics, traits and behaviors that makes us act and react automatically in certain ways. Part of these programming is write-protected and read-and-execute only...these are the ones that we cannot change but can certainly overcome. The rest of these are editable or deletable programming...these are the ones that we can change and should if we desire to eliminate or alter it.
If we care enough about a particular relationship with another (be it a friend, enemy, spouse, ex-spouse, colleague, competitor, neighbor, companion, classmate or any other manner of mate) and desire to do whatever it takes on our part toward keeping it a pleasant, palatable, enjoyable, gratifying or fulfilling one, then we would simply start with a process of truthfully observing our very own individual set of human nature programming. By subsequently learning to accept our less desirable human nature traits without self-condemnation but with a charitable and sympathetic eye, we develop a valuable skill that we can consequently learn to apply toward being more charitable and sympathetic toward the less desirable human nature traits and programming of others.
This is, of course, a heck of lot easier said that done (I personally know)...this is so because a powerful part of our human nature programming (for most of us, that is) is to be intolerant of what we do not like in others and to judge and apply some form of punishment in response to it.
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