Dear Daughters (10-21-2009)

Do not allow yourselves to fall in love with a man BEFORE the man truly falls in love with you. Why? Because men (in general) are emotionally attached to a less intense degree than women are when they are in the throngs of "love". As such, men are more able to bear whatever emotional pain there is to bear from any unreciprocated love and, thus, are less likely to feel deep regret and make the other party feel completely responsible for misleading them into false expectations that get shattered down the road. Women suffer more from unreciprocated love than men do.

Having said that, be careful in your assessment of men's feelings and emotions because these are very much connected to their libido. NEVER rely on the man to make this important assessment. They are simply incapable of telling the difference between lust and love. It takes years of experience and heartache (in general) before men learn how to properly distinguish and discern when their feelings are merely lustful as opposed to being truly in love. Don't blame them completely...this is how nature intended things to be.

In order to drive home the point of this powerful human instinct, my mom gave me an enlightening point of reflection when i was young. She told me that (in general) a man would never (in his right mind) trade a few minutes of pleasure for the lifetime of sacrifices that he would have to bear in caring for and raising the potential product of that pleasurable activity (the enjoyable personal activities that he is accustomed to that he would have to give up; the heavy financial responsibility that lasts almost a lifetime; the long sleepless nights during the first years). Nature, therefore, programs men to lose their right minds momentarily in order for them to readily engage in this pleasurable activity despite the potential life-changing consequenses.

Women somehow know that in most cases (those cases where men are not maturely and emotionally invested in the relationship) men are not in their right minds when they are so intent on winning their hearts. They know that once men eventually get their right minds back, they will (most likely) lose interest in them soon enough. Yet, they chose to proceed with such a an engagement despite the heartache and emotional pain of being dumped that they instinctively know they will eventually face down the road. Why do they do so? They do so because they are also blinded (lose their minds) momentarily by their powerful emotional needs that drives them to be in denial and in perpetual hope that this time it will be different. Well, this is part of the other side of the equation that nature also effectively takes care of to ensure the higher likelihood for sexual activity and the propagation of the species.

To recap my advice to you my dear daughters:
1.  do not allow yourself to fall in love with a man BEFORE he truly falls in love with you
2.  never rely on the man to make the discernment of whether he is in love with you or in lust with you...make the discernment yourself.

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