Dear Daughters (12-5-2009)

Actions speak louder than words. At some point in our lives or another, we all get to realize the wisdom of that well-known saying. And more so than not, we buy into it to the detriment of our personal relationships and subsequently our spirit. This is so because one very crucial component is missing in that line of wisdom. That component is the reality of our perception...our perception of other's actions or of their words.

Our perceptions are formed and colored by a wide spectrum of factors that include social/cultural norms, our upbringing and every human relational experience we have had in our lives to date and the resulting emotions that were borne of those interactions. These perceptions can be true and they can be absolutely false. They can even have compounding effects such as in the manner when we start with a false perception (that we never realize was in error to begin with) and this, in turn, influences a subsequent perception that is also false thereby creating what I will refer to as a "reinforcement of falsehood" and so forth and so on in this ugly cycle.

What is the moral of the story? We need to develop a habit of questioning our automatic perceptions and validating as much of them as we bravely and feasibly can. A healthy amount of skepticism over our perceptions can do wonders for your personal relationships in all its forms and degrees. By this I mean your relationships with co-workers, children, parents, friends, enemies, significant others and all strangers that our life path brings us in contact with. It definitely takes a great amount of courage, skill and patience to go through the validating process and to come out with the true and correct perception. It is a worthwhile life skill to learn and develop and one that will take time to do so.

Start learning and practicing that skill now. I wish I realized this when I was in my twenties. I probably would have achieved more with my spiritual growth by this juncture in my life if I did. Nonetheless, I count myself blessed that I have even managed to arrive at this valuable realization at all. It is a source of true inner peace for me.

~~~~~